So only 90 per cent then. It’s Monday, and the National Crock, prop. G Brown Esq., announces that it has been instructed to lend massively once more. Ninety per cent mortgages. Not 100 per cent, because that would be madly irresponsible and has been banned as recently as Friday, by – oh.
I am so terribly confused. And I’m not even a Prime Minister.
Let me see...
As instructed by that world-famous financial genius, G Brown, banker, the Crock has repaid taxpayers two-thirds of the humungous sum extorted from them on credit by that same office-abusing Prime Minister – currently working his notice – when he was desperate to placate his murderously-inclined Northern MPs whose electors constitute a sizeable chunk of Labour's heartland Britain’s sub-prime problem. The corpse of Prudence was dug up and, although she's not looking at all well, Gordon's ex was installed at the helm of the Crock.
Last Friday, all was looking quite a bit better. The Crock's debt was falling nicely, taxpayers were getting some of their money back, and Gordon announced that banking would return to the Era of Boring Responsibility. All was set fair for a nice weekend.
But that was Friday and this is Monday and Mad Gordon's got another cunning plan.
'All change! Yoo-hoo! Don’t do that! Do this! I’ve changed my shoes mind!’
Where did I put that coil of rope…
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