Let's not go to ANY French parties from now on

Hat tip to Donal Blaney for reminding me of this:

Charles De Gaulle, that inadequate personification of French jealousy and cowardice, once told US President Lyndon Johnson that he wanted all Americans off French soil. "Does that include those buried in it?", Johnson rightly enquired. Perhaps the French need reminding of who was prepared to help them in one of their many hours of need?

De Gaulle was a bastard and an ingrate. His countrymen have been bastards and ingrates for a thousand years. They have long despised my country and my fellow countrymen for our world-renowned military superiority, for having the political sophistication to effect constitutional reform without making the streets of our cities run with blood, for baling them out whenever their own stubborn and cowardly crudeness (they think themselves so terribly, terribly polished... but just look at them) gets them into deep shit and for generally beating them at, oh, pretty much everything. And for English becoming the world's common language. Oh boy, they really, REALLY hate that. They may rest assured that the contempt is mutual and will remain so as long as they expect the whole wide world to accept their appalling manners and as long as they insist upon having as their national mascot a series of very arrogant, very small men with very small penises, and covering their national embarrassment about their pathetic political, military and sexual inadequacies with risible adolescent lies about being the world's greatest lovers -- and cooks. Mwahahahaha. (That noise you hear in the background is Mrs Prodicus sniggering... but she says she is prepared to accept the part about the cooking.) Next time the French find themselves invaded by heavily-armed people with more balls than themselves they can forget about the Entente Cordiale. They will find that the neighbours across the English Channel will be sorting out their sock drawers that night, and that includes our Head of State. Meanwhile, about the D-Day memorial services, I hear Gordon Brown's going. Perfect. One fucking insult deserves another, after all.