Kindly FOAD before I throw up again

Is there no respite from the global outbreak of server-breaking crapology about some saddo weirdo pop bloke who's died of a heart attack? I expect it's all very sad for his folks and all that, but no, this is not my 'Diana moment' (WTF?) and I will not remember where I was today. Matter of fact, I can't remember where I was yesterday.

Guido wins my headline of the day award for Wacko Jacko Heart Attacko.

Apart from that, only the great Mr E's post on the subject has caught my imagination.

Brace yourself for the obits and, oh God, the funeral. There's going to be a run on sick bags. Picture the processions: Jesse Jackson, Liz Taylor... they'll need a mega venue if they're going to fit all the weeping luvvies in. The mayors and half the population of Detroit, Philadelphia, Nashville and Los Angeles. For starters. The Hollywood Bowl, maybe? Or Texas?

Maybe they'll let Phil Spector out of chokey for the day. Maybe Obama will inaugurate a new Wacko Memorial Day Holiday. (He'd better be quick or Gordon will beat him to it.)

The worldwide viewing figures: 'All records broken...' '90 per cent of the people on the planet...'

Then there's the tribute Specials.

• Jonathon Ross wearing his Solemn and Respectful face.
• Phill Jupitus and Paul Gambaccini 24/7 on Radio 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.
• Jim Naughtie on 'if only he'd had a classical music education, one can imagine the operatic triumph...'
• Iain Dale Remembers Jacko on Sky News.
• Jenni Murray's Woman's Hour Special on pushy showbiz parents.
• You and Yours on getting your ticket money back (whoops - already been done)
• Kirsty Wark on the philosophical dimension.
• Yasmin on the black-boy-wannabe-honky-boy story and how it's all whitey's fault (mine, probably) that the mad bastard messed up his face and how he was the Peter Pan of Hollywood only not really at all weird unlike the J M Barrie character... imperialism... slavery... yadda yadda... oh, God.

Still, the funeral alone will bring the advertising industry out of recession sharpish. Not to mention the memorabilia. Every cloud, et cetera.