Prodicus: Labour Lexicon

11 June 2009

Labour Lexicon

EFFICIENCY SAVER Completely safe. Suitable for all ages from 0-95. Manufactured in Fairyland especially for you by lovely little Labour elves. Buy your toddler one for Christmas!

INVESTMENTS Not sharp or horrible in any way. At all. Build shiny new schools and hospitals on sunlit uplands. Magically conjure up Hospital Angels and Laughing Policemen.

CUTTER EXTREMELY DANGEROUS! MURDERS NURSES! SLAUGHTERS TEACHERS! SLITS THE THROATS OF DEAR LITTLE KITTENS!

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Conservative thought consists largely of self-evident truisms that even the stupid can recognize as true, while anti-conservatism consists largely of what George Orwell so aptly described as 'the sort of nonsense only an intellectual could believe'. - Robert Koons

How do you tell a Communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin. - Ronald Reagan

Of all the calamities to which the condition of mortality exposes mankind, the loss of reason appears, to those who have the least spark of humanity, by far the most dreadful, and they behold that last stage of human wretchedness with deeper commiseration than any other – Adam Smith

If the grass looks greener on the socialist side of the fence it's because they have a better class of bullshit. - Your humble servant