Eh? You want to see 'the manager'?

But the manager no longer exists.

'Managers' have been replaced by 'leaders'. 'Management' has been replaced by 'leadership'.

I think the first to head off in this sinister, mendacious semantic direction was the Secondary Heads Association which changed its name to the Association of School and College Leaders.

Well, they would, wouldn't they? How appropriate that first into the newspeak swamp should be the very bastards who have led (sic) our descent into inclusive and diverse non-education, deploying as their primary weapon the debasement of language.

Teach the teachers to teach the children the approved language. Language is the means of transmission of ideas. It must be carefully controlled. Ensure that the children use only approved language. Their minds and, in due course, their conclusions, opinions and decisions will be shaped by that language. First and above all, control the language.

Today, Andy Burnham assures us that, at the death camp known as Stafford Hospital, new 'leadership' has been 'put in place'.

'Lead' is such a nice affirming word. All its implications and connotations are authentic Leftspeak.

We are all equal and in this together. I am not your boss - I am one of you. My role is to lead us all. I do not have power over you. Well, no more than absolutely essential for the good of the team as a whole. It goes without saying that you are as professional, committed and indispensable as I am. I am an Oxford-educated, Nobel prize-winning Professor of neuropathology with thirty years' hands-on experience of critical care medicine and you are a fifteen year old doorkeeper who left school yesterday and will have to come to work sober tomorrow or else you won't be working here the day after that. But we are both health workers. We are a team. I am your leader. Follow me as together we face our glorious future. Onward! Onward to the sunlit uplands of...

Bullshit.

Me, I would rather that new 'managers' were 'appointed'. People to, you know, manage, rather than lead.

We need managers. People who can manage. People prepared to kick arse, tell the unions to fuck off and the ministers too, because patients lives are more important than compliance with the 'guidance' described in this month's Left Book Club recommended read, You can't get me - I'm part of the Union.

Someone who will force the hospital staff to clean up their act and ruthlessly fire anyone who does not and oh, hello, do come in, Mister Prentis, take a seat. Now, tell me. What do you not understand about the sentence, 'Fuck off because the dishonest marxoid fuckery which you swear by is in fact killing people'?

Someone who will take full management responsibility. And in fact, not in the way of our Dear Leader who mouths the phrase (if pushed) and then carries on insulting everyone's intelligence.

Someone who will make the hospital staff, unions or no fucking unions, comply with a new mission statement. Yes, let's think of a mission statement for Stafford Hospital. Something like, oh, I don't know... First, do no harm.

But that sort of management implies 'a power relationship'. (If I begin to sound like Bea Campbell or Will Hutton, do feel free to click away.)

Power relationships are bad. They are imperialist, colonialist and every other disgusting -ist you can think of and are to be outlawed.

We are all equal, d'you see? None shall have power over another. Not even the manager of a hospital who must watch his patients die because he may not exert power over his irresponsible, murderously negligent staff.

Lazy, troublesome or grossly negligent employees team members colleagues are not problems to be managed. No, no. One no longer manages these people but, rather, one leads them. Their under performance, their disruption of one's area of responsibility, their destruction of one's business, their murder by omission of helpless, frail, frightened, sick and elderly people is unfortunate, but it is an issue to be addressed by the colleague and her (sic) leader, working together for an optimised outcome.

Bastards.