Our Hell correspsondent writes:

Over at the Kitchen, your humble correspondent commented thusly:

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thefrollickingmole said: 'how evil an act is it to govern in order to actively cause a crisis (so you can "fix" them of course).'

And not even new. It’s in Chapter One of the oldest Communist Party training manuals from, I dunno, about 1919, I think. Read this from an ex-hard line Communist cadre. Gloss over his religious faith if you like, but learn from the horse's mouth how the Comrades think and operate. They have never changed.

I paraphrase: 'Make yourself indispensable. Find an old lady with a grievance and do your best to fix it. A leaking roof, anything. No grievance? Create one. Cut a hole in her roof. Just don't get caught. Get the council in and have a blazing row with them in front of her. Make sure they fix her roof. You’ll get the credit and she’ll be forever grateful. Then on to the next grievance. Do the same. Become the local fixer, the Friend. Later, when you seek control, they will support you. When you are opposed, they will defend you. Never forget that grievance is your toolkit, your path to power and control.'

Look at the Bolsheviks promising to redress the grievances of the starving Russian infantry of which they then took control, turning it into the Red Army. Hitler did the same, of course. He knew his Communist handbooks backwards, being a Socialist. The only bit of International Socialism he didn't like was the ‘Inter’ bit so he just knocked it off. He didn't change much else. Added a few refinements of his own, like gulags. Or was that the Soviets?

Lenin was the man. He went straight for the big time: ‘To hell with old ladies' leaky roofs. Let's have a full-on fucking civil war.' No, let's be fair to the man. He didn’t say 'fucking'. Lenin was a middle class gentleman. Think of Hilary Benn but with brains and real ambition.

Speaking of civil war, old Vladimir Ilyich would have mightily approved of Labour's immigration wheeze. I just thank God I won’t be here if (when?) the grandchildren have to fight the second English Civil War.

But hey - well done the Socialists. Ruthless, power-grabbing bastards. Always were, always will be. Democracy? Sod that – the voters are just cannon-fodder. And Socialists are incompetent, too. Every Socialist government Britain has ever had – every single bloody one – has left the economy in ruins. Not on Gordon's scale, I admit.

But hang on… was it incompetence? Or traditional Marxoid planning? Gordon is an historian of Socialism, after all. No, not an economist - that's just a front, and not much of one at that.

‘The economy may be in trouble but recovery is just around the corner … any time now… please don’t throw us out… we’re fixing the crisis… the other lot would make it worse… we are your Friends...’

Familiar?

Still, never mind, eh? Vote Labour.