Gordon's quite right

Labour won't cut front-line services.

Because they won't be in power when we hit the public expenditure wall. Brown has the luxury of being able to say whatever he likes, for now, because he will never be put to the test.

The Tories will cut front-line services.

• Because they will be in power and Labour will not.
• Because the Labour government, like all its predecessors, has ensured that the incoming Tory government will have no choice - Labour have stitched them up by leaving not a wrack behind them.
• Because many so-called 'public services' are not services at all but job creation schemes for Labour's tribesmen/women - and mechanisms for documenting and oppressing the citizenry.
• Because cutting services out of the public sector is the right thing to do (copyright E Balls).
• Because only by not spending public money on services which the private sector can provide can costs be reduced and standards raised - and the people be liberated from the control of the Righteous.

Remember when all telephones came from the Post Office, after you'd applied (hiss...) and then waited for weeks (...) and the GPO bloke would insist on coming to wire it up on a day of his choosing and sod you, and there was only one model which you were forced to rent and were not permitted to buy? I remember going to the States and accompanying my host to the phone shop('You have phone shops?!') where there was a vast choice of equipment, and being amazed... and thinking that it could never happen here. And it never would have happened here, if Labour and the Post Office Workers Union had had their way.

Roll on Liberation from Labour Day!

The Sun - sorry - the Times says:

Cnut: Back to the future, everyone!

Listening to Brown yesterday, so many things reminded me of Harold Wilson's Labour government in the sixties.

(Oh, yes. Actually, Prodicus is even older than that... 465-395 BC)

Harold Wilson and his proprietor, Vic Feather

• State investment bank (Lord Stansgate must be glowing).
• Homes for Unmarried Mothers (Fanny Craddock would approve).
• Technological brilliance will take us forward into the future (Remember Blue Streak? 'The white heat of the technology revolution'?)
• Backing British manufacturing (forgetting that other countries will make it all at lower cost).
• Curing cancer in Our Generation (Brown the Kennedy fan, remembering Jack's Man on the Moon speech...)

An earlier Brown Labour economic genius

Where does he get all this guff?

But wait... what was Dr Brown's PhD subject? Ah, yes. The History of the Labour Party.

Hey, Gordon. About your international consensus.

FT:

Sarkozy hands business €10bn tax cut

"People win elections, not newspapers"

The Sun's seven million pissed-off readers* will be wondering whether Brown thinks they're people. Or not.

Way to go, Gordon.

* different from circulation, before my loony leftie reader starts foaming...

Labour conference wrap-up

A hero's life: yesterday Brighton, today Planet Tharg.

'I don't involve my family.'

She said Labour governments had always made this country 'better' and introduced a video showing how "Gordon's Government is doing that today'.

Rather than be a Prime Minister's wife quietly staying in the background, she has been gradually building up her profile.

A few days ago while her husband spoke at the United Nations summit, she took time out to mix with the great and the good to discuss global affairs.

An embarrassing, pointless, futile farrago followed by more of the Brown fantasy.

Quote of the week

The Fink, on fine form:

On Monday the brilliant, insightful, hard-headed Lord Mandelson became an absurd cabaret act. When I saw that even he had succumbed to such nonsense, I realised that Labour had reached the end. Tony Blair famously said that when the Labour Party learnt to love Peter Mandelson his project would be over. This has turned out to be literally true.

One of many lapidary paragraphs in the Fink's article. Have a coconut, Danny.

About bloody time

Kremlinology

Heffer thinks Brown is doing a deal - 'an adulterous deal' - with the LibDems to secure left-liberal government for decades to come and spite Cameron.

Is he right? It would fit, wouldn't it?

Anything but the Tories... and even kill the Labour Party and start again... ANYTHING rather than allow the Conservatives back into power.

The unconscionable bastard.

He would. He would.

Mad, bad and dangerous

That nice, charitable man, George Pitcher, is telling the world that mistaken though he may be, Gordon Brown is 'not a bad man'.

George is getting whacked for his pains, in the comments.

Here's my twopence worth.

You are very charitable, George, but Sheumais is bang on the money. Brown is indeed a bad man and unfit for office and always was and has proved it almost daily since he became Chancellor, never mind PM.

---------------------

Many a bad man does what he does in good faith and believing himself to be a good man acting for the good. Such men are wrong - and bad. Examples are legion.

Having a clear conscience - or to put it another way, having an invincible belief in the rightness of your actions - neither makes you correct in that judgement nor makes your wickedness, if such it is, less wicked. It merely indicates that your moral compass is defective.

Gordon Brown has acted for party advantage - and for nothing else - no matter at what cost to the citizenry, and pitilessly, too, where he deems those adversely affected by his policies to be outside his own constituency.

Whenever his stupidity and his errors have been exposed he has denied, lied and attacked rather than accept correction and remedy them. 10p tax rate?

His crocodile tears for the 'hard-working majority' are sickening to the innocents whose pensions he has stolen, whose life savings he has ravaged or who, happening to live in a house larger than he deems proper yet being poor, he deems to be 'rich'. How dare he, the feather-bedded, red-carpeted dictator, surrounded by amoral snakes like Balls, McBride, Draper and Maguire who do his dirty work for him so that he may remain Mr Clean, Mr Son Of The Manse, in the public eye.

He has ruined some of my elderly friends with his vindictive socialist profligacy and they have been powerless to resist his onslaughts.

He is a ruthless class warrior and God help anyone he does not consider one of his own.

Fashion tip

I think the panstick is a bit much, now, Gordon. Oh, and the eyebrow dye - easy does it. You wouldn't want to seem any less credible as a... you know... wossname.

Last word

... must be from Boulton to Simon Hoggart and Rachel Sylvester, both grown-up political hacks:

'But I mean, really... do you believe any of this stuff?'

Well, so much for Sky's MindTracker

I voted DISLIKE throughout Brown's speech (extracts) and yet MindTracker registered me as 'neutral' throughout. Huh? Er, I don't think so.

A small consolation came from the fact that the average vote was even more unfavourable than mine - even though the machine thought I was keeping it closer to favourable.

On the other hand, if it made rubbish of my vote, what value in any others?

Bah.

The result?

Cheers!

Because he reminded the dwindling band of the faithful why they voted for... Tony Blair.

Lovely waves of warming nostalgia as they remembered the 1997 manifesto, and the 2002, and the 2005, all repeated here today for old times' sake, along with a lot of comforting delusional stuff and - yippee! - affirmation of their collective hatred of the Tories who must never be allowed to govern because... they are not Them.

Yay!

Tomorrow's Sun headline

From Tim B commenting at the Speccie's live-blog of today's RTA:

GULAGS FOR SLAGS

But seriously

Breathtakingly irresponsible from start to finish - lies included.

Brown no longer cares: time will run out before he has to deliver all this risibly unaffordable and mendacious cobblers.

It's down to gutter-political shit-or-bust, now, the sole objective to rebuild the Daily Mirror vote (the Sun being lost) with Campbell and Maguire doing the heavy lifting.

'... and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss...'

Paul Daniels's Conference 'speech of his life'

First impressions:

He thinks he's a character in the West Wing.

He can no longer distinguish between fantasy and reality.

He now truly believes that money grows on trees.

If wishes were horses... everyone would have one - FREE! (Vote Labour.)

He presented a ten year plan and expects the electorate to believe he can pay for it all while at the same time reversing the biggest national debt in history in four years.

"And that's magic!'

__________________________

Just as with Brown's budget speeches, always welcomed with cheers... when the remnants of the fireworks are found on the pavement next morning, cold and faintly smelly, people go all slit-eyed and suck in their breath as they start to curse hard reality all over again.

But oh, look. Here's Adam Boulton with the first cold, smelly ex-fireworks:

"...afford it?... so personal care NOT free after all, then..." (Ed Miliband admits) "... abolish hereditaries... a Lords dominated by your appointees, then..."

This speech was the most undiluted, desperate, disgraceful, unconscionable irresponsibility.

Cammo's people must be salivating, for a thousand reasons.

Brown is a moral and political bankrupt and this speech, a quarter Left-pleasers, a quarter Tory, a quarter lies, a quarter sheer fantasy, will go down in history as the proof it.

Disgraceful.

Liking it. A lot.

Small, light, fast, simple, intuitive, reliable. Shames the Fox and buries IE.

Still no editors awake at the Standard, then

And on Day Three after his head transplant...

Groupthink rules OK

On Radio 4’s WO this morning, Jane Garvey addressed London’s (Conservative) Deputy Mayor as 'Mr Malthouse' and interrupted him to transfer the talking stick to her other guest, a woman from Lambeth Prostitution Strategy who was addressed as ‘Diane’, in right-on sisterly fashion.

With first names pretty much de rigeur in BBC radio interview protocol, even for non-comrades and whether the interlocutor be an emeritus professor of Greek or a convicted paedophile, how come Mister Malthouse was singled out for such old fashioned courtesy?

What on earth has he done to prompt Miz Garvey to put such distance between herself and the Conservative Deputy Mayor of London?

One might almost think she found it impossible to regard him as a fellow human being trying to do something for the victims of London's pimps and people traffickers; that she regarded him instead as some sort of alien of whose motives it was only circumspect to be suspicious. Oh, wait...

Miz Garvey mused that the Deputy Mayor's project to deny pimps access to mobile phone service for advertising purposes, on which he has been working for ten years, might be no more than a political gimmick. Now imagine her saying that if he were the Labour Deputy Mayor, doing the same work. Quite.

Union muscle in action at Labour Conference

Hat tip ConHome

Election day is 6th May

According to a leaked Labour Party document, per Bloomberg.

Seven whole ghastly months in which Brown can lash about him with his flame thrower and bore us with his delusional lies.

Still, the latest poll puts Labour in third place. Every cloud...

Via Iain Dale on Twitter.

Bad hair day at the Standard

First this, then this:

Who?

Desperate, hopeless

The whole boiling of Labour droids** on the electric wireless today, from Darling through Mandy to, oh whoever they were... have said nothing, nada, nichts, nix, nil about their own record or policies. Their litany is nothing more than Do Not Vote Tory! Do Not Vote Tory! Tories Are Wicked Bastards! Do Not Vote Tory!

Whenever anyone, including the Booker circus troupe, keeps on and on and on about the marvellous book they're reading and how I simply have to read it, I go right off the idea. Permanently. They can GIVE me the bloody book if they like, and it will sit on the bookshelf unread for ever. If this is Labour's strategy... if this is all we are going to get between now and the election... many people will react like that, and do the opposite. They'll vote Tory out of rage: rage at being lied to, betrayed, robbed and patronised by a moribund party which insists that it has a right to power over the electorate, and lacks the imagination even to change the record.

If they keep this up, Labour will be lucky to get as many seats as Clegg.

If this is Mandelson's brilliant idea, it's a good one. For Cameron's Conservatives.

** With the respectable if malevolent, streetfighting exception of Mr Cruddas.

And the Gord said:

Well, nobody bothered to write it down, actually.

Yesterday, Brown spoke to an empty hall. Update: OK - half empty.

(Picnicked from Guido)

This morning, Mandelson said The Tories Are Wicked. Ooh! Get her!

Later today, Darling will 'ask' the finance chaps to play nice or he'll... he'll... he'll... yeah.

The Left is having its own parallel conference up the road according to Red Box, and even Compass could be looking for a new home. Whatever...

Trevor Kavanagh sounded so bored on the Today programme that you wonder why he bothered to get out of bed. He says it'll all go on and on and on because there are no politicians in the Labour Party - they have all proved themselves incapable of stopping it. He muses about the old Liberal Party...

Dame Michael says yup, it's all over, just a question of destruction or utter destruction and of course it's all Brown's fault.

So far, so hilarious.

I'm loving, as they say, it.

Souvenir of Brighton 2009

Ecowankers vs. the bleedin' obvious

'Does anyone really need a science degree to understand that a five fold increase in the polar bear population between the 1950s and now does not constitute a catastrophic decline?'

Obama announces US plan to join G1 group of countries

Washington, September 26, 2009. 'US President Barack Obama yesterday outlined his plan for the United States to join the G1 group of countries, the organisation for the largest economy in the world.

'The formation of the G1 organisation has come as a result of this week’s G20 summit, during which the United States has spent an annoying amount of time listening to smaller countries moan about things it has no interest in.'

Newsarse has more...

Ah.

Ah, yes. I'd been wondering why earlier this week, on the day Brown was snubbed by the US president and Ahmadinejad was forced to fess up, the Today programme filled its flagship political 'After Eight' slot not with with either of these topics but with with a lofty, a-political, scientific discussion on, of all things, soil.

Mystery solved. It was the EU doing us good again.

I read this and I wept for Tommy Atkins

We used to set them to selling matches or making poppies, the limbless, the gassed, the blind; things are immeasurably better, if not ideal; it is foolish in the extreme, however, to train split-second killers, to psych them up, threatened from all sides, in a war with no front line and then to discharge them into a society regulated, corralled, categorised, cv-ed to fucking death, surveyed and policed as never before. Wiser men than Brown and his misfits would see the urgency and put stepping stones in place but he is a life-long Atlanticist and dooms us to repeating Uncle Sam's disastrous treatment of his own veterans; shattered in body or mind or both, Tommy returns to a civilian society as alien to him as is he to it. It has ever been so but now that we are so clever we should demand better, for Tommy and for us. The soldier, though, deals in the harshest of truths, this unblooded crop of politicians in the meanest of soundbites; the mad bastard, Brown, attuned only to his own pathetic ranting, unwilling and unfit to think of - much less speak to - the weighty matter of arms and the man.

By Ishmael, aka Stanislav, from a long and heartbreaking post.

Penny for your thoughts, Mr President

Oh my, if ever a caption were needed...

Professional Foul

A friend asks for some publicity for a campaign to get the BBC to digitise and release their filmed recording of Tom Stoppard's TV Play For Today, Professional Foul, which starred Peter Barkworth and was shown on BBC1 in 1972 (or perhaps 1977 - sources disagree).

If you saw PF, you will not have forgotten it. If you saw Rock & Roll but never saw Professional Foul, you have a clue as to what you missed.

An English professor of ethics (Barkworth) is invited by the Communist authorities to a philosophy conference in Prague. A former student of his is arrested for writing about individualist approaches to morality and asks him for help. To assist would mean reneging on the undertakings he made to his hosts and which were the condition of his invitation to the conference and the country. Suspenseful.

AFAIK it's never been performed since 1972 (or was it 1977?) but lies hidden and mouldering in the BBC vaults 'because there is no demand'. Maybe the denizens of the blogosphere can rectify that misapprehension on the part of the Corporation.

There would be costs but only a jerk would say it won't sell enough (worldwide) to cover them in the long term.

We paid for this stuff in the first place - let's get it out there so that other licence fee payers can enjoy this important example of the great playwright's work.

I've Tweeted this.

Please pass it on! Thank you.

Making straight the way of the Gord

So the IMF is to be reorganised, pronounce the G20 at their meeting in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.**

And which expert in, erm, international finance has announced (yesterday!) that she is leaving Gordon's 'government' for a mysterious newly-created job with the G20?

Ah, yes.That would be the right hand woman of the western world's most incompetent and disastrously-indebted national leader after Obama (who, unlike the Dear Leader, has the luxury of the world's biggest economy with which to pay his nation's debts down).

And the Lady Shrieky saith to the Elders of the IMF and of the G20:

"Nay, I am not the Saviour of the World.

"I am the voice of one crying in the wilderness, Make straight the way of the Gord. He it is who coming after me is preferred before me, whose shoe's latchet I am not worthy to unloose.

"Lo, He cometh after me, just before His present employer sacketh Him because He fucketh up His own country and lo! He seeketh now to fucketh up everybody else's countries in like manner because verily I say unto thee that He knoweth all. ALL, I say unto thee, ye ignorant bastards, and I am His prophet so sit down and shut the fuck up or prepare to catch this iPhone - which He hath blessed - with thy bloody teeth."

And so it came to pass that Saint Macavity the Incompetent miraculously escaped the vengeful wrath of His tribe and cometh into an other land called Gissajob where He laid His Curse upon all who sought His counsel and upon millions of other poor unfortunate bastards who knew not even His name. But not knowing His name, even so they saw His works, and they cursed Him.

** Today's WATO opened with a snatch of an old Guy Mitchell number:

"There's a pawnshop on a corner in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania... "

It's about a man who borrows until he can borrow no more.

"The wheels just kept falling off."

No, not Jeremy Clarkson on the Labour government but a British Army chief on his military vehicles.

General Andrew Mackay is the latest senior Army officer to resign over the Labour government's treatment of his troops.

Can we expect Defence Secretary Ainsworth to follow the General's example?

No? No.

Diary

So, what's on next week then?

Labour's final pre-election party conference, which is to say Gordon's last throw of the dice, and, um...

The Bank of England has summoned the City's leading economists to an unprecedented meeting in Threadneedle Street [next Tuesday] as the pound plunges amid growing confusion over its radical Quantitative Easing (QE) policy.

Oo-er.

Heheh

And tee-hee.

Nick Clegg enjoying the sunshine in Bournemouth yesterday

So now even Brown's aides don't 'aide' him

Mail:

The Prime Minister was the victim of a second protocol problem when he was honoured as the 'World Statesman of the Year' at a star-studded reception.

The award, given by the Appeal of Conscience Foundation, was handed to Mr Brown by former U.S. secretary of state Henry Kissinger in the presence of rock star Bono and Queen Rania of Jordan.

But the Prime Minister was only there for 15 minutes, leaving guests who had paid $1,000 a head for dinner afterwards dumbfounded.

A No 10 spokesman said he had never been due to attend the dinner.

But one guest said: 'Gordon Brown turned up for a black tie dinner in a lounge suit and disappeared after a quarter of an hour.

He and Sarah were listed as guests on the tickets and the posters and everyone expected them to stay.'

A Downing Street spokesman said, 'The king is dead, you say? Yeah, well. Who gives a shit? Next.'

There is something wrong with my radio. Or me, maybe.

Overnight, Downing Street has gone to Frantic Mode because the President of the United States has repeatedly snubbed the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom** at a World Summit. At the same meeting, the mad President of Iran is finally waving a small olive branch in the direction of the world's only superpower and muttering about maybe not going nuclear-armed after all because Russia has changed its stance and is threatening not to veto sanctions. Yesterday, the Liberal Democrats self-destructed. (No, you're right, that is not important. Sorry.)

And the BBC's Today Programme's 'After Eight' half-hour examines none of this? 'Move along, please. Nothing to see here.'

Then, as the World Statesman of the Year disappears from our sight below the horizon of history, the premier political slot of the day on the nation's leading, poll-tax-funded news radio station to which 100 per cent of all British politicians and most of the politically-interested electorate turns daily, without fail, is leading on fertiliser (sic) and P G Wodehouse. Not a single word about the above.

The Presidential snub to the PM is briefly raised with the Northern Ireland Secretary as a lighthearted postscript to some other matter at 8.35, the traditional start of the 'you can afford to miss the next bit' section of the programme devoted to trailers for later programmes (ho-ho, what a wag you are, Melvyn!), housekeeping costs, Freak of the Day and so on, rightly broadcast when most listeners have switched off and gone to work. I'm in the bathroom, by the way.

So the Martians have taken over my wireless. Or is it simpler than that? Has the BBC finally driven me insane?

** Full story at TDM: 'OBAMA TO MEET BULGARIAN DEPUTY SPORTS MINISTER'

PoliticsHome

A lot of lefties have walked away from PoliticsHome because Michael Ashcroft has taken a major stake in it and Rawnsley has left.

There is much discussion of this over at Iain Dale's Diary.

Here's my take on what Dale is calling the Left's 'gesture politics', as I commented over there.

Rawnsley is a brilliant journalist and widely respected across all parties but let's not kid ourselves. He is also a Leftie, albeit with the journalistic nous and skill to keep it out of his factual reporting, if not his more subtle opinion pieces.

The Fabians and their fellow travellers think he's 'sensible' and 'balanced' because he's a Leftie like themselves, like TaylorM, like ClarkeC. They are their own (and only acceptable) benchmark for 'balance', just like the BBC group-thinkers. Rawnsley's a lot cleverer than they are. Or I thought he was.

To be to the right of this lot is the only evidence they need that you are a Bad Person. (Seriously - an objectively bad, or at least deluded, person.)

To be associated in any way with anyone who works for the Conservative Party is to touch pitch. Ashcroft is the archetype, the antiChrist, their chief target, the Worst Person in the Whole World. 'Argh! Where's the garlic?! Everyone grab a stake!'

For any one of them to be seen by their peers to associate with Ashcroft means political perdition. They behave like lemmings because they have been trained to adhere to the approved group-think. It is the Socialist Way.

Pathetic. And frightening.

Oh, my, what a rotten song.

- and what a rotten singer, too (whoever it is).

Some songs make my flesh creep as soon as I hear the opening bars. Mawkish, tasteless, self-indulgent, crappy, saccharine, sentimental songs that make me scream and want to kill songwriter and singer, be it the pub drunk or Barbra Streisand. In fact, especially if it's Barbra Streisand.

Songs which should never have been written. Songs the singing of which should get you a jail sentence without the option. The following list is far from final.

1. Feelings
2. People. People who need people
3. My way
4. You’ll never walk alone
5. Unchained melody
6. It’s now or never
7. I believe
8. What a wonderful world

And then there's... ?

Go back to your constituencies and prepare... oh.

Hoon - dammit! - Huhne believes in sticking with tried and tested Liberal tradition. I mean, look at his speech today.

Rather than oppose a corrupt and dying government, he wastes his tiny bullets on trying to hit a target waaaaay beyond the range of his very small, um, weapon: the increasingly popular Conservative Party. Ho yes. Another victory for home-team-pleasing Liberal Democrat bile over political common sense.

But if I were David Cameron and George Osborne, I would be worried. Cameron’s key message is “I am not Gordon Brown”. It’s empty. It’s negative, and it won’t stand up to the scrutiny of a campaign.

Hey - Huhne, baby. Say that last sentence again for me, will you? V e r y s l o w l y. While looking in a mirror. See what you did there?

Sweet, really. Except for the vinegar - another fine LibDem tradition, wholly in tune with their special kind of 'localism'.

And of course there was the traditional LibDem trip down Memory Lane. It must have warmed David Steel's little old heart.

There is now a real choice. A fork in the road. For the first time in a generation we can and should wield national power.

Bwahahahahaha...

So where are they now, then, these political giants whom, unaccountably, the electorate insist on laughing into third place behind the big boys? Well, let's see.

The Sage's extraordinary vanity (boosted by the BBC who persist in taking him seriously... why?) has blinded him to political reality so that he has finally over-reached himself and is facing a kicking from his senior colleagues, if not worse. The Cleggmeister is waffling like a good 'un (another LibDem tradition) on the electric wireless and despite committing himself to fuck all still manages to put himself at odds with his party members over whether his team should don red shirts or blue 'when' we have a (no, wait for it, wait for it...) hung Parliament. (Now you can laugh.)

Once again, friends, I give you the Liberal Democrat Party Conference. A laugh a day (at least), political incoherence and intellectual confusion abounding in every speech in every part of the venue. All precisely as advertised. God's in his heaven and all's right with the world.

Boost your word power

Does any of the following connote the words 'Scotland' or 'Labour' to you?

Cor⋅rup⋅tion / kəˈrʌpʃən / kuh-ruhp-shuhn Noun:

1. the act of corrupting or state of being corrupt. 2. moral perversion; depravity. 3. perversion of integrity. 4. corrupt or dishonest proceedings. 5. bribery. 6. debasement or alteration, as of language or a text. 7. a debased form of a word. 8. putrefactive decay; rottenness. 9. any corrupting influence or agency. Synonyms:

2. Dissolution, immorality. 8. Rot, putrefaction, putrescence, foulness, pollution, contamination.

They Never Learn, Brown Edition (Part 94)

Via Benedict Brogan

Either Brown really is mad or the Newsweek editors have a sharper sense of irony than one suspected.

Screen grab of the Newsweek index page of today's date in the Prodicus vaults to verify in perpetuity that Brogan and I did not make this up.

Hoon's - sorry - Huhne's housing policy

Iain Dale, having read Huhne's draft speech, billed as 'on housing' in the conference agenda, reports that 'there's not a single word about housing in it.'

Gotta love those nice clean LibDems. So Focus-ed on the important ishoos.

See what I did there?

You'd need a heart of stone not to laugh

Every time I pick up a newspaper, [I think he means The Guardian - P.] my heart sighs at the thought of what I am about to read [yes, I quite understand - P] - because I don't always trust the government to tell the truth on my behalf either. [Oh. Right.]

It's a sorry, humiliating, state of affairs and it's getting sorrier and more humiliating every day. [Ahahahahaha - P]

Thus devoted but disheartened Labour blogger Alex Smith over at LabourList. Oh, all right... Labour List dot org. No, I still will not link to it. Make the effort, though. Go on. Read it. It'll cheer you up no end.

You broke the law, Attorney General. ATTORNEY GENERAL.

Why on earth would Scotland resign? Her job is quite safe, along with her noble title, her pension and a lucrative future. Only a few months to hold out, now...

Her boss won't sack her, not as long as he keeps a grip of his strangely immoral compass the needle of which consistently homes to 'Political Advantage'. If he does decide to hang her out to dry (not a practice to which he has ever been congenitally averse) it will be for wholly pragmatic, party-polling reasons, driven to it by the prospect of the deafening public outrage which will otherwise engulf him and drive Labour even further down in the polls.

As for the old-fashioned notion of honour, Lady Scotland's no different from the rest of Brown's 'government' of thieves, liars, placemen, greasy-pole-dancers and bullies. They are strangers to honour. With Labour in power, the still-clinging-to-office 'noble' Baroness is among friends.

No, having declined to resign upon the instant, Patricia Scotland is revealed as just one more bent nail in the coffin of honourable politics. Flowers may be sent care of the Funeral Directors, Blair, Brown and Company. As for respect for the law of which the Lady is our chief guardian, what a role model she is for the young lawyers people who will govern this country in generations to come. You broke the law, Attorney General. A law which you yourself ruthlessly made and enforced and which you designed to punish (heavily) even unknowing infractions. Being a Labour minister who went straight from law school to politics and never held a job in the real world where the little people live, though, we'll take it as a given that you have fuck-all sympathy for the struggling small businesses ('bloody capitalists') bombarded by your pétard: the offence which you have committed is, by your own diktat, an absolute offence, that is, one for which there can be no defence. You broke the law, Attorney General. You have no defence. You are in the same position as a small restaurant employing a scullion who showed the chef a forged passport. You broke the law, Attorney General. Resign, or both you and your Dear Leader should brace yourselves for sustained and deserved vituperation. A politician with any moral sense would have no hesitation.

If you don't resign, Lady Scotland, we will understand precisely what sort of lawyer and what sort of politician you are. A LABOUR lawyer. A LABOUR politician.

No means NO. Except in Brussels, Paris...

Get Widget

Labour is perverting the course of Justice

I am a bit busy these days and also a bit too browned off, to coin a phrase, to blog regularly. This, though, drove me close to apoplexy. Thank God for the Devil, on whom one can rely to rage with the essential acidity.

This fucking Labour 'government' has abandoned any pretence of adhering to the principles of justice. You now have to prove your innocence and if you can't, hard fucking cheese. Accept the rap and pay their fine.

Unless you're a Labour politician, of course, like rich, crooked, unprincipled 'Lady' Scotland who ruthlessly forced through and enforces unjust laws which - oo look - she disdains to obey herself. She must be using the same moral fucking compass as her despicable boss. Yes, he who made her our chief Law Officer.

Britain's constitution, our Parliament and our very 'justice' system have all been desecrated, debased and destroyed by Gordon Brown and his accomplices, not excluding the grinning bastard who would be President of Europe, God help us. And all because of their ravening ambition to control us, their appalling vanity and their raving fantasy, despite decades of evidence to the contrary including their own bloody experience, that Socialism works.

Never mind justice. Come to that, never mind bloody reality - it's control that counts. Nothing else. In their determination that none but they shall rule us, they prostitute Parliament and pervert the course of justice - literally - in order to maintain themselves in office and - of course - in high style.

Aware that they are doomed to political oblivion, they are now literally going mad with rage, lashing out viciously in all directions at all law-abiding citizens who come within their reach, merely in order to display their genitals and get their rocks off.

In their desperation for whatever tiny political orgasms they can get between now and being castrated by the electorate and thrown out of the brothel they have made of our Parliament, these Labour oligarchs without consciences have grabbed our great offices of state and from their positions of great power are furnishing their retirement palaces at our expense while at the same time frenetically fucking us to the point of stunned exhaustion.

Well, we know now, don't we? Never expect 'Justice' from a LABOUR government.

Just asking

We had the Man from the Ministry here the other day, unveiling something educational. The Permanent Secretary at the Ministry of Education, no less. No, I will not call it the Department for Effing Wossname. It is the Ministry of Education. Or would be, if Labour did 'education'.

My question is, is it usual for Sir Humphrey to be allowed an awayday to go and unveil something? Isn't that customarily the job of the appropriate minister?

But let's see... in the present case that would be Balls. He would get short shrift around here (Labour voters went extinct some time ago) and anyway he's rather tied up at the moment, busy with his thesaurus, looking up analogues of and synonyms for the word 'deft', what with the Labour Conference in a couple of weeks, and in the medium term, important post-funeral manoeuvres, of course.

If not Balls, we might have had the choice of Vernon Coaker (stop laughing) or Diana Johnson MP (who she? Yes, exactly). Dawn Primarolo (tsk, really, you should know better) and the other 'ministers' in the Department of (oh, all right) Effing Wossname have non-jobs which anyway are Rockall to do with schools. So, Vern or Di, then. Sigh. As for the rest of the 'colleagues', I imagine most Labour ministers must be drunk or on drugs by now, to deaden the pain and stop the shaking. Yes... on reflection, one can see why it had to be Sir Humphrey.

Via Iain Martin (yes, him) at the WSJ (so that's where he went...) this from Afghani political commentators:

Kabul – Gordon Brown is an unelected leader and his writ does not run outside the heavily fortified government compound in the heart of Britain’s capital, Afghan officials said last night. “What little authority this Brown character has is vanishing rapidly,” said a source close to the recently re-elected Afghan President.

“Brown is operating very much as a classic tribal war lord. He clings to power only by trading favours with his few remaining supporters and such is his desperation has even been forced to to reach out to bitter enemies (such as Peter Mandelson). Yet even in his tribal homeland of Scotland he has lost ground to rampaging nationalist rivals. It is difficult to see how he can survive.” The official said that the Afghan administration will be making representations to the British government, expressing its deep unease over the situation and saying that it would like to see free and fair elections held in the U.K. at the earliest possible opportunity.

“It is a bit rich this Brown criticising the fairness of our elections in Afghanistan when he has never put himself up to win a mandate. On becoming Prime Minister he decided not to hold an election in the autumn of 2007 because he was scared that he would be defeated. He won the leadership of his party by having his henchmen scare off any potential rivals so that there was the ridiculous spectacle of him standing as the only candidate. This is what they do in North Korea, it is not democracy.”

Best blogpost of the entire 2005-2010 Parliament

The laurel crown goes to the peerless Mr Eugenides, he of the mordant wit, whose destiny it shall be to dwell among the Olympians and whose bitter political tears, the sour fruit of years beneath the soiled, scuffed jackboot of an insane Socialist megalomaniac are very soon to be wiped away by the Bacchanalian festivities with which gods and mortals will celebrate the impending disgrace of the Great Brown Bastard and the destruction of all his fantasies.