Yesterday, Alastair Darling deftly gave us the widely-advertised Labour party-political budget while at the same time putting something of a cordon sanitaire between himself and the Bunker.
Today, in an unbelievably smooth follow-through which should go down in political history, Darling calmly placed weapons-grade explosives beneath wannabe Chancellor Balls and Prime Minister Brown. Courtesy of the BBC.
By his calm statement to Nick Robinson that if Labour wins the election there will be deeper and tougher cuts than Thatcher's, Darling has taken revenge on the Forces of Hell who, having sown the wind of thuggery, will now reap the electoral whirlwind.
With all the authority of his great office of state, the Chancellor has both exposed Brown's economic claims to ridicule and given the lie to Balls's repeated assurance that public expenditure will continue to rise under Labour. In effect, he told Brown and Balls to go fuck themselves. Live on air.
That noise you hear is screams of rage from the Bunker and the smashing of a hundred items of electrical equipment. In another part of the Bunker, frantic work has commenced on re-engineering Labour's entire electoral campaign.
Deft? Deft? Watch and learn, Balls, watch and learn. The man you tried to oust, Alastair Darling, is an object lesson in deft. Never was there a Chancellor, not even Gordon Brown himself, as deft in telling the Prime Minister, publicly, that he and his team could go to hell.
There is absolutely no truth in the rumour that David Cameron has today written to Alastair 'Labour Cuts Tougher Than Thatcher' Darling, thanking him for his announcement today and assuring him that his peerage and vice-chancellorship are in the bag.
Darling, like Balls and Brown, knows perfectly well that Margaret Thatcher made NO net cuts in public spending. None. (Update to clarify: actually, while there were some reductions, overall public spending increased during the Lady's time, by 1.1%.) Ever since the day she set about breaking the stranglehold of the unions on British society and restoring sanity and health to the economy, the 'agony' of the Thatcher years has been writ in blood on the hate-banners flourished by all Labour politicians.
In every speech Brown has ever made, he has invited favourable comparison of his benign self with the memory of Thatcher the Destroyer.
And now his own Chancellor says that the incoming (yes, I know) Labour government, which Brown insists he will lead, will wreak worse havoc than did the monstrous Iron Lady herself.
Vote Labour!
Irony, thy name is Darling. This is simply too delicious for fucking words.
For Balls or Brown to rubbish Darling this close to the election would trigger the instant implosion of the Party. From now until the election, they and Byrne and Cooper will have to face the Darling Question. Daily.
Labour's last Chancellor has had his revenge on the vicious Prime Minister who, as Labour's soi disant greatest Chancellor, viciously turned on his own Prime Minister. The legacy of the Labour Prime Minister who used Margaret Thatcher's name as a curse throughout all his years in office, is finally cursed by unfavourable comparison with the very same Thatcher, by his own Chancellor whom he tried and failed to sack and upon whom he unleashed the Forces of Hell.
Achingly, orgasmically pleasurable.
So. Game on.
Stab vest, tin hat, food taster and bodyguard for Chancellor Darling, please.
I do hope Osbourne and Cameron have the same take on this as you but I am not over optimistic they have missed so many opportunities in the past. It seems almost as if they do not want to the win this election, I could actually commend them for that better a hung parliament with Brown left in charge to take all the flak and come in later like knights in shinning amour.
ReplyDeleteWho would have thought it of Darling eh? once hated by Kinnock who didn't want him becoming an MP because he was a Trot.
ReplyDeleteMy political knowledge is pretty sparse I just jog along on gut feeling. I did not know that Darling was a trot however I did know that Kinnock was a Welsh prat and nobody can call me racist cause I am also Welsh so that has buggered the equality police. At one time Wales used to export excellent teachers now we foist crappy politicians on to world not as bad Scotland though.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/3224126/Alistair-Darlings-early-days-as-the-bearded-Trot-who-wanted-to-nationalise-the-banks.html
ReplyDeleteits all there, welcome to the real world Mr Darling.
Interesting piece. There is a moral here. Over the years I have watched left wing politicians start out on the extreme left and end up left of center. The moral is in youth they are all idealistic and want to change the world and over the years wisdom and common sense takes over. It is a pity that they do not become wiser and have more common sense and go the whole hog and become right wing and really grow up.
ReplyDeleteI do not notice the the same phenomena with right wingers.
Rose tinted glasses suddenly seem to provide, no form of comfort to eyes tired by the lies.
ReplyDeletein the years that have passed by so quickly to me my iris has seen.
Nothing but tears and fears, my ears they hear the same.
the screams of an economy crying in pain. drained of tuppence penny and pound.
The reccession hast slain us, but those to blame still remain.
thee parlimentary pain, its plain to see as we bleed the stones all that we need, indeed is a labour free zone.
The party has a name that fits its behaviour, enslaved is the trader the mother and man.
The toddling owner that puts out the hand.
in an endless circle an unfixable spout, that continues each speech, to coat in sugargrain but no matter how sweet, still the sour remains.
Those blessed with power forsooth lie with a loss of hour.
certest they wont confess to man nor mouse,how they grasped apocalyptic tarsels quick to lead the scythe and steed of deadly greed into angles house.
now in ruins and reccesed and so try in vain to shift the blame,
thou art thee economic bane,
they have produced this mess, that leaves not just economy but family opressed.
politcic policy unseen expenses none the less,
so as we enter the count down,
frowning brown tries to impress,
with promises as tony did many days ago,
but labour are unable to take back what we now know,
that woven web of lies,
whose silk reflects the light,
we are no longer blinded by,
thy labourus recite.