R. E. S. P. E. C. T.

It's Mrs Duffy to you, Dr Brown. Mrs Duffy. Not Gillian.

You are applying to Mrs Duffy and me for re-appointment as our servant. You are merely a job applicant; one of many, at that. Kindly bear that in mind and comport yourself in an appropriate manner while we are considering your suitability for the position advertised.

Please do not use our first names without invitation. It is insolent.

It is patronising to treat us as you would a child or a mentally-challenged adult.

You dishonestly pretend to a de haut en bas form of faux-parental intimacy with the intention of positioning yourself as our superior, using subtle psychological pressure to make us accept your subliminal proposition: that you are entitled to govern us by reason of some kind of natural superiority.

You make unfounded assumptions about our opinion of you personally, and of our view of what constitutes a proper and essential relationship of distance and respect between politicians and electors.

Pathetic, irritating, false bonhomie from a politician screams that he is selling fake goods.

You, Dr Brown, are not personally acquainted with Mrs Duffy or me. For you to sidle up and whisper our first names is weird. You come across like the malformed and insecure bastard product of a drunken one night stand between a sinister snake-oil salesman and a cheap tart. You see how easily a wrong impression may be given?

So let's have a little more respect, please. You never know, it might prompt reciprocity. A little more Mrs Duffy may mean a little less McStalin and Prime Mentalist.