The burghers of Cowdenbeath organised search parties to find their missing MP. Mr J G Brown (Lab.) had not been seen since the election (which he lost - mwahahahaha) although it is confirmed that he has been drawing his full salary of more than £1,400 a week plus expenses.
The search party has now announced that the man has been found in his own back garden where, in time-honoured Socialist tradition, he is imitating the action, or rather the inaction, of your average welfare scrounger.
J G Brown is living off the public purse in his gazebo where, rather than flog all the way to Parliament in order to represent his constituents and earn his salary, he is 'happily writing his book'.
It is believed that the working title is I Was Right About Everything: You Bastards Will Pay For Voting Tory.
For goodness' sake - can't someone confront him by complaining about this?
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