There they are, all standing in a row

Our alternative Prime Ministers.

• Andy Burnham was one of the nodding dogs who would declare to TV cameras that the cabinet had every confidence in Gordon Brown when the reverse was the case.

• Ed Balls ran the thuggish Brownite machine and the decade-long insurgency against Tony Blair to put his master in Number 10.

• Ed Miliband makes pious noises denouncing "factionalism" as if he is a saintly figure who never had anything to do with it. "The emissary from Planet Fuck" – as he was known among Blair's aides during the civil war – was at the heart of the Brown faction.

• It is a bit tricky for David Miliband. (Heheheheh. Nice.) He was one of the senior members of the cabinet who knew Brown was taking them to defeat and failed to act before it was too late.

Rawnsley.

UPDATE: Oops. Forgot. Tsk.