Back to the Eighties

So political life is reverting to normal. I'm listening to the Today programme, for a start. First time since GE2010. Only for today, though.

Surveying the wildlife, one spots..

• a realist, trusted and increasingly popular Tory party in government for as long as it suits them. 
• (the undead corpse of) militant unions threatening to wreck the country's services. (I said 'the Eighties', but the capi of Unite and the RMT would clearly prefer 'the Seventies'.)  
• impotent Kinnockians and Fabians making doomladen speeches to each other out in the wastelands. 
• old Dame Polly bitching on the electric wireless to anyone who'll listen, chumming it up on first name terms with Naughtie, occasionally alongside the likes of Matthew d'Ancona who's addressed by his full moniker, of course, because he's an eeevil Tory. 

The old Dame is faithfully playing the role assigned to her by Socialism's historical inevitability, slashing at the LibDems - mostly, and only when she has time at the Tories - with her little knife. Ah, how fallible memory is. The excitement of agreeing with Nick has faded completely. A year is a long time in politics.

And so, naked of constructive policies for the consideration of the electorate, the Labour Movement starts out on its next big project: the re-Fabianisation and moral rearmament of the ex-Labour Social Democrats in the Liberal Democrat Party, leading to their repatriation to That Great Movement of Theirs.

Labour's strategy is to sow dissension in the LibDem ranks, alienating from their leaders all their Leftist stars, candidates, members and swing voters, thus reducing the party to its historic role as a pointless and electorally irrelevant basket of politically clueless protest votes. For another generation. At least.

Labour's tactics were demonstrated by the old Dame this morning: vilify the incumbent LibDem leaders, accusing them of abandoning the entirely imaginary 'national progressive consensus'. Delicately refrain - for now - from mentioning 'the perks of high office', but accuse the LibDem leadership (implicit: 'the Yellow Bookers') of betraying their own people in order to grab a share of the power for which they lusted but to which they are absolutely not entitled. Repeat at every opportunity the phrase 'prisoners of this ruthless Tory government' (© 2011 Guardian Newspaper Group).

Nice LibDem party members and supporters, well-known to have correct, Fabian, progressive, caring instincts will be invited to quit the quasi-Tory party of Clegg and troop home to Labour and join the fight against Margaret Thatcher and her fascist banker cronies. What? Tsk, not me - Labour. Do keep up. 

Labour will heap contempt upon contempt around the LibDem leadership, removing from the minds of  the kinda pinkish, the easily-scared and the confused the erroneous idea that LibDem ministers in the Tory-led coalition have either electoral legitimacy or clean hands.

Ah, yes, it really does begin to feel like old times. Jolly good.

The Conservative Government (sic) may be stuck with a few Liberal Democrats for now but this is a juicy Tory moment whether Naughtie sees it or likes it or not. One couldn't help laughing as he intoned...

... even the Conservatives can take some comfort from these election results... 

Do you think he knows he said that out loud?

Cameron, for whom this is is his most politically successful week ever, must be trying very hard not to grin at the cameras or even burst out laughing.

• The Conservative vote share has gone up - even in Wales - and is above Labour's nationally, confounding both the pollsters and 'mid-term losses' dogma. 
• There are more Conservative councils and councillors than before the elections. 
• The leaders of the Labour and Liberal Democrat parties were defeated in the AV referendum NO landslide.
• Euro-Commissar Lord Kinnock has 'got his party back' to the election-losing unpopularity he enjoyed during all those years in opposition to Conservative governments. 
• The tribal gods of the Scottish Lowlands have withdrawn their favour from Labour enabling the Nats to end Labour's hegemony there and destroying its UK powerhouse. 
• Now free to express their mutual loathing, Labour and the LibDems will spend the rest of this Parliament tearing each other apart as each claims moral superiority to the other and therefore the exclusive right to realign British politics to ensure maximum electoral advantage for themselves, wasting all the materiel they ought to reserve for fighting the Tories because they both know the next general election will be a disaster for them and a triumph for the Tories. 

Not just my opinion. Ask any sane Lefty with a functioning brain cell. 

@DAaronovitch : "Looking over all the results I can see nothing that would make Tories believe, with a good wind, they are not heading for victory in 2015."

Not often I agree with him, but even a Socialist hack can't be wrong all the time.

Hubris? Who said that? Here's @DAaronovitch again:

"... that kind of hubris could be their worst enemy now. I think Cameron understands that."

Oh yes, indeedy. Dave has spoken sternly to the troops. 'Keep calm and carry on.' Yes, Prime Minister.

And by the way, well done, that man Osborne. It's working nicely, George.