Target acquired

Not that it will save him but I'd advise little Bercow to get himself some shots after all yesterday's frantic slurping-up of the bodily fluids dribbling from Gordon Brown's every orifice.

In the process of pleasuring the madman who, for party-spite, set him on the Speaker's Chair, he repeatedly insulted the House by ruling that the former Prime Minister be permitted to abuse Honourable Members' courtesy in the most egregious fashion, embarrassing himself and causing heads to shake on the green benches and up in the press gallery. Bercow raged at Honourable Members for no proper reason but simply because he could, shamelessly abusing his office as he paid his dues from the kneeling position proper to the supplicant.

The Tory Chief Whip stared in amazement at a Speaker almost steaming with boiling bile.

As well some swift medication, Speaker Heep might consider some parliamentary body armour. It will avail him nothing, of course, but may keep him warm in the draughty, dangerous corridors of power in which he now struts and preens. After yesterday, his gaping self-inflicted wounds must surely relieve the Honourable snipers closing in on him of the necessity to exercise their trigger fingers. Mind you, hunting can be such fun. Tally-ho!

*****

Update from the Telegraph:

Bloody disgraceful.