World Domination League: 'It's just a blip, not a trend, you pay now please.'

The planet has not warmed for thirteen years.

Even the Climategate perps say it's embarrassing that they can't explain it. More grant money will solve that little difficulty, chaps. It's on its way. Don't fret. 

Anyway, the tax-everyone-more-and-let's-get-back-to-the-stone-age lot must be winning the War Of Mother Gaia's Temperature and someone, somewhere must be cutting their carbon emissions, although it sure ain't the Prodicus household. There is even a bloke down the pub who thinks they may have overdone it, what with three fucking cold winters across the planet and sea level the same as it's been since records began. 

(Someone call the president of the Maldives and tell him we're turning the money tap off any time now.) 

Yes, folks, the Little Green Men, your masters and your betters, are now worrying about a forthcoming Little Ice Age. Well, it was overdue by centuries anyway on the basis of the planet's normal oscillatory climate pattern but that cut no ice (geddit?) with the Little Green Men who were entirely focused on getting their hands into your pockets to fund their World Domination League reducing your carbon footprint and brainwashing your children into becoming their spies and foot soldiers. and slowing down the catastrophic global warming rate.

And now the sodding planet has gone and done something else. Something that everybody but themselves, even their predecessors, had been predicting for, oh, a century or two. It's getting colder, apparently.*

Why is that? Because Project Greenmonger worked? We're emitting less carbon? Er, not according to the Little Green Men.

No, they say that it's because of increased carbon emissions. (Read it again. Oh, yes.) It's the emissions from China's gazillion new coal-fired power stations. They are blotting out the sun.

OMG noes! Waaa! We're all gonna freeeeeeze to death! Control those carbon emissions! The fucking Chinese are boiling Gaia! I mean, er... no, wait... the fucking Chinese are blocking out the fucking sun! Aieee...! Just... just... you know... CARBON LIMITS NOW! CARBON TAX NOW!

Hey, boys. Here's an idea. Invade China. Go on - you show 'em. Bastards.

* But it's only a blip. First we're going to freeze and then we're going to boil as advertised earlier, so no complacency, peasants. It's the carbon. Your carbon - your fault. The Greenmongers are always right and you are always wrong. Regardless of the question, the science is settled, so shut up and pay up. Ker-ching!