The Politics of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition and how they is done.

With apologies to Patrick Barlow and the National Theatre. (Of Brent.)
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Do not start by having a philosophy of, say, what constitutes good government. You do not need policies by which to apply principles what you have not got. Politics ain't about that sort of hifalutin' rubbish which the common people are too thick to understand anyway. It is about going on The Telly and saying stuff what will give the Question Time audience the horn.

If you have time later you should try to memorise some Sayings Of Famous Philosophers because otherwise when you meet people from Newsnight and the papers in the conference bar they will be rude and call you A Salesman. No, not you, Ed. Don't you worry, son. You are definitely not a salesman.    

Dan Hodges, funnily enough, is not a Liberal Democrat although he writes like one (see below) and might make a fine job of carrying Simon Hughes's bags. No, Dan is a summa cum laude graduate in Blairistics from the University of Blair and a Westminster insider (not an outsider like Ed). He tells all.

You begin by deciding where you want to position yourself politically. You then develop a policy framework to support that positioning. And finally you construct a philosophical and intellectual narrative to define your programme as you sell it to the electorate.